It seems as if everyone at some point in her life will suffer from a slump in self-esteem. We’ve all gone through it. I remember a few of pity-parties from back in the day!
I read in a sociology book that low self-esteem or insecurity can affect the dynamics of a marriage. And that people suffering from it tend to jump too quickly to the conclusion that their spouse is losing interest.
I believe that is true. What about you? I mean, we’ve all suffered through the feeling that a friend was losing interest in a friendship. So it’s not hard to imagine that the same can happen if you are a spouse with low self-regard.
Should you find yourself feeling low in spirit or heart, remember the following:
- Ask your Lord to help you. Make du’aa frequently and during the best times.
- Ibn Qayyim said we should behave in the manner we are lacking; by doing so, eventually that good behavior will become part of us. Mama calls this “Fake it til you make it. “
- When you feel the urge to say something hostile to your spouse or someone else, remind yourself that it will only make things worse.
- If you don’t have anything good to say, then keep quiet.
- Greet each other warmly, and leave each other warmly.
- Communicate openly by stating your preferences clearly.
Practice the tips above when your self-esteem is healthy. That way you will be good at it should uncertainty-of-self pay you a visit. I hope you never feel a loss of fortitude. But if you ever do, I’ll share plenty of stories of why you should believe in yourself again.
Book: Social Psychology: Goals in Interaction. Pearson Education, Inc. Pages 284 -286.